All posts in The Great Outdoors!

DONG’S School of Master Martial Arts

DONG’S School of Martial Arts, originally uploaded by jiffyfeet.

Learn to master the CHOKE HOLD one-on-one in a Classroom Environment with Head Master DONG! Advanced classes are available for those looking to master the “Dong Triangle Of Death”.
Photo: Danny Tanner (Wilson, NC)

The Lawn Mower Mountain Bike Mobile Home!

The Lawn Mower Mountain Bike!, originally uploaded by jiffyfeet.

This takes the cake for most Jiffy Bike ever.
Not only is it ridiculous but its extremely well done. This guy took one simple mountain bike and by using a bunch of extra push mower handles & parts he created this magnificent bastard!!! Can you imagine getting in a wreck on this thing… it’d look more like a car accident than a bike wreck. Here is some of the outstanding parts. Photo: Eskee Brandalist in Downtown O-Town.

Ape Hanger Handle Bars made from Push Lawnmower handle. Note still got the brake handles up that high. There is a Canopy For Maximum riding shade. Dual Bug Screens on the Handlebars. A bit of moss from catching tree lems cause this thing rides so high. Some crazy front and back extensions or maximum junk carrying space. A faux chrome exhaust tip And a Basket to boot!

Hot Boiled P-NTUS…

Hot Boiled P-NTUS… , originally uploaded by jiffyfeet.

As if Peanuts needed any more help to sound like penis… This must have been a woman that made this sign because a man would never gets the NUTS wrong! Word has it this sign has been there for over a month, so either they left it cause the sign still works (don’t fix what ain’t broke) or they are truly Lisdexic. I guess the only way to find out is to stop by and try some of them special P-NTUS, and if the shell is on the inside of the pea then we’re the assholes! Photo By: K. Kurycki – Corner of Cesery Blvd. and Columbine Dr.

Pee Wee’s Big Bike Disaster!

Pee Wee’s Big Bike Disaster!, originally uploaded by jiffyfeet.

Sorry Pee Wee, We found your bike and it looks like Large Marge covered it in glue, drove it through a junk yard and then spray painted it the color of rust. something tells me all the red bow ties and table top dances in the world aren’t gonna bring it back. complete with a tape player, house phone (with extra long cord), spinner rim hubcaps, paper mache double exhaust, mason jar lights, and handlebar tassels. Also we think there might be some sort of heat shield wrap on there for re-entering the atmosphere if for some reason it ever made into orbit somehow. The latest report says it’s all painted silver now, A masterpiece in progress. Photo: Tia Wigham

Dong Dishes… Now It’s a PARTY!!!

This must be the "Ladies Night" special they were referring to on the sign. If you are in the Avondale area possibly checking out the new Mojo’s #4 Bar-B-Q because you don’t feel like "Doing Dishes" tonight, just take a look at this nice little window display next door. Maybe it’s just me but that top row of dishes look like they must have been pretty hard… to paint that is! haha Photo: Lonnie (Avondale)

The Cost of Gas Just Got Higher!

The Cost of Gas Just Got Higher!, originally uploaded by jiffyfeet.

I wonder if there is a note on the price sign that reads "Pump At Your Own Risk" One gallon could equal your life. I know we all are really dependent on gasoline but if pulling under that death trap is my only choice… I’ll park it and start walking. Really guys, a couple of 2×20 wood boards that you could kick loose with your foot. No gas is worth possibly getting crushed under that thing, and It has been like this for well over a month now. Someone call code enforcement, this thing is out of control. Photo: Lonnie (95 & 207)

Happy Easter from the Hipster Bunny

Peter Cotton tail wont be Hopping down the bunny trail anymore for Easter, he’s taking the bike lane yall, so share the road and he will share some plastic eggs! (The Life Jacket is just absolute randomness) Photo: Nubbs

BEHIND The Scenes tour of 127 hours!

On the way to the Palatka St. Paddy’s day parade, my pops stumbled upon a "backside" location for the movie 127 Hours. I’m pretty sure if you got close enough, you could find the other half of Aaron Ralston’s arm still stuck in there! Coincidentally that crevasse was longer than the actual parade. Photo: Fishlip

Get Off My Lawn… or Outta My Hardware Store

Cmon’ people, the Saggy Pants era was so ’07 Gangster. Leave it to a hardware store to call out modern day fashions faux pas!. These days all the single ladies want your pants up while you put a ring on it.

If you have never been to the last Great American Hardware store in the south… then you need to visit Curry-Thomas Hardware near downtown Jacksonville. You won’t find many places like this left on the U.S. Map. They have Hardware, A Gunsmith, every dang taxidermy animal you can think of (Seriously… Lions, Tigers, Bears) and a full cast of Gentleman that Clint Eastwood’s Character in “Gran Torino” could have been based on. It’s Americana at its best. The only things it’s missing is a barber shop. Photo: Lonnie

Where Manhood Ends & Marriage Begins

I would also like to mention that I think they forgot to add the “No Outlet” sign and maybe the “Dead End” one as well. We will have to check back in a couple of years and see if they add a “Deaf Husband Area” sign too. Ok im done. Photo: Bruce Bruce (somewhere of Normandy Blvd)