All posts in Automobile Files!

They Should have Tabled This Idea.

This photo is proof that magic is real. One trunk, 3 Wooden Tables, Zero ropes… Abracadabra! Photo @ImBigWood – Mayport #TrunkTableJenga #BlaineItOnTheDave


4 DOORS for MORE WHORES., originally uploaded by jiffyfeet.

Maybe its just me, but I kinda feel like having a big sticker like this on your trucks back window would in fact attract less whores, because what woman in her right mind would get into that truck. However, I guess that would depend on wether or not said whores are in denial of their Whoredom or have come to terms with the reality of their sexual prowess and are in turn using such labels as advertisement. With that being said, If this guys preference is for the later of the two then he would in fact be fishing with the right bait as they say. And if you look closely at the passenger side rearview mirror, you can see a woman riding shotgun while it appears they are their way to a yard sale. So shame on us for questioning this fisherman’s methods. Because according to this guys sticker, its not how you catch em’ that matters, its how many right? haha. Well played sir. I would also like to point out where he also purchased this vehicle. Need we say… MOORE. Photo: P. Carter – Neptune Beach

Scissors of Anarchy!

Why carry just one blade when you can have two that will cut, clip, and slice yo ear off!!! Guess you can never be two prepared these days… you never know when a real life Rock, Paper, Scissors fight might break out in a Bar or Crafts-n-more haha. Chop Chop!!! Photo: Bruce Bruce – Buckman Bridge Jacksonville

Low-Def Semi On Demand Basic Cable Delivery

Are you one of the few people out there that are tired of paying monthly fees for tons of channels on a big hi-def tv? Well we have got your answer! Low-Def Semi On Demand Basic Cable Delivery is here… coming to a small beach town near you! Unless the one bungee cord we use to hold this crappy tv on the back of the scooter breaks or we get a job as a pizza delivery guy soon then never mind. Photo: P Carter (Jax Pier)

Cool Runnings Corsica Style!

Cool Runnings Corsica Style!, originally uploaded by jiffyfeet.

Feel the Wiggle… Feel the Slide… Watch out y’all, it’s break free time!!! I mean in what world does one tie strap hold a 400lb double door refrigerator on top of a beat up old Chevy Corsica? haha. I bet watching them get this thing onto the car would have been as hilarious as this picture. But then again, that Corsica does look like it has been down a bob sled track a couple of times. Or as we like to call it down here, a fire trail through a tree lined forest. Lord help then if they had to hit the breaks, you know that thing is going flying off the front hood. Photo: Gricker (Somewhere one Highway 301 – North Florida)

The Heisman Trophy of Pole Dancing!

Everybody please give a firewood warm welcome to our newest dancer SAWDUST!!! This thing might have been created right where she strips boys & girls. The remains of this once stout piece of wood is laying right there in the bed of the truck as pure evidence of craftsmanship. In all honesty though, you can’t really knock this guy, if your thing is making wooden pole dancing strippers out of old tree stumps, then I would agree the best form of advertisement would have to be tied by rope to the bed of the truck for all to see.

She does appear to be a bit anorexic and her breast do seem to be extremely lopsided but I can’t help but notice the striking resemblance she bares to the semi-truck mudflap girl. Cousin’s Maybe? This would be a perfect candidate for those old Budweiser commercials… “Here’s to you wooden pole dancing stripper maker guy!” It’s the wood that keeps on giving. Photo: John Stewart – Augusta GA.

P.S… Of course there’s a Golden Corral in the background. Oh yeah… We counted the rings, She’s legal.

ARM & WIPER – The Creeper Cleaner

When buying a new wiper blade is just too much… grab a used gardening glove and a couple of hose clamps you got laying around and make if happen! RainX ain’t got nothing on pure human hand sweat. This also doubles as a way to wave off would be tailgaters as well in a super creepy “OJ’s Missing Glove” kind of way. If only this was a white Ford Bronco instead of an explorer. Photo: Lonnie Lonnington – Neptune Beach

The Legend of SUPERCAT!!!

The Legend of SUPERCAT!!!, originally uploaded by jiffyfeet.

Deep within Mayport Florida, there lives a super hero with nine-lives who fears no man or mouse and can only be seen by the light of the day, riding shotgun out of the drivers side window of his faithful sidekicks Buick LeSabre just hoping to catch the next villain or at the very least a breeze in his face. His red bandana cape wipes the sweat from his whiskers and sends fear into the eyes of all who cross his path… he is SUPERCAT!!! Photo: Lonnie Lonnington – Mayport

Little Red Riding Hurt!

Little Red Riding Hurt!, originally uploaded by jiffyfeet.

Looks like the Big Bad Wolf is riding bitch! I would love to know where this guy had to go so badly that he agreed to get in the hatch back window seat of an old Mazda RX7 rice rocket instead of taking the bus, walking or riding a bike. I literally watched that "Worn Out Hydraulic" window beat the heck out of his head for at least a mile. This dude was one good pot hole away from getting ejected, cause you know there ain’t no seatbelt back there, haha. Hope you made it to your destination buddy, put an ice pack on the back of that head to keep the swelling to a minimum. Photo: Lonnie Lonnington – Atlantic Beach, Fl

How Much Dew Can You Do?

How Much Dew Can You Do?, originally uploaded by jiffyfeet.

Uhh Gimme That Mountain Dew I Ain’t Playin Which You, Gimme My Mountain Dew! This might be the most EXTREME post we have ever had! I mean seriously, how much Mountain Dew can one consume? haha. And to top it off they are TALL CANS! If you have never heard of MOUNTAIN DEW MOUTH just search it on the interweb but make sure your not about to eat anything, haha. Oh there is also a rap song. Listen Here – Photo: Bruce Bruce!